We’re Back
Some bloggers take the summer off. While we’ve never claimed to be bloggers, we’ve clearly taken the summer off too. But with the constant reminder that we need to “write those stories down so you don’t forget them!” it’s time to get back into the blogging swing of things. When life with a toddler makes it impossible to remember what we did last night, never mind last week, this may be the only sure way to remember this stage of life.
In the midst of death we are in life
In the midst of life we are in death: of whom may we seek for succour, but of thee, O Lord.
We had a June vacation planned to Maryland to spend time with Great Grandma and Grandpa Vogele. Grandma Vogele’s health was slowly failing and we hadn’t seen them since Thanksgiving, so wanted to give Nathan more time with his great grandparents. When at the beginning of the week slowly became rapidly failing, we packed up early and raced to MD. We did not arrive in time to be with Grandma before she passed away, but we were able to sit with her body that first evening. I think the hardest part was telling Nathan he couldn’t go into the room that everyone else kept going into. He wanted to be with his family, but I could not go through the process of reminding Nathan who Grandma Vogele was and having him want to see her, just to have to then explain death.
And then we were in Maryland for the rest of the week. And in that first week of grieving but also enjoying being with family I kept thinking In the midst of life we are in death. But I was also thinking, in the midst of death, we are in life. Because we had a Nathan with us. And it was such a blessing to have Nathan there with the family. A toddler makes you get up and get on with the living things. Grandpa Vogele loved spending time with him. We told stories. We took little outdoor outings. We had a wonderfully full birthday celebration for Marisa with a trip to the Zoo and lots of good food. It was good to be together.
Last Monday I went back to Maryland for Grandma Vogele’s memorial service. Tim couldn’t leave work and I knew without his support my whole time would be focused on Nathan instead of the family, so Tim and Nathan both stayed home. I worried that without the two year old to keep us smiling it would be a very somber few days, but as the extended family gathered together we told more stories, shared more memories, took new pictures, ate lots of fish in Grandma’s honor, said let’s do this again, but let’s not wait for a death, had a wonderful time together. And the service was beautiful and what we all needed.
Preschool
It hit me sometime last week that Nathan is starting preschool in less than a month. How did that happen? And we haven’t really talked with him about it. When we were looking for a preschool everyone asked him excitedly about “school” (Grammy: Nathan, are you going to school? Nathan: No. PREschool.”) but we haven’t done anything to help prepare him for being left at a strange new place for two full days a week. So of course we got a new book to see if we could cram some preparation into these last two weeks - Llama Llama Misses Mama. While other books about starting preschool have main characters who spend the beginning of the story fretting about the first day, just to show up and love all their new friends and the new activities, poor Llama Llama gets whisked out of bed and off to school in just six pages. And then he spends half of the remaining story being shy and grumpy before having a meltdown because he misses Mama Llama. Now that’s our kind of kid. And of course, in the end he plays with the other kids (four pages) and then Mama comes back and he’s thrilled and learns something new - he loves Mama and school too.
So last night we read Nathan’s “New, Special Book” for the first time. And he LOVED it. He felt bad for little llama. He wanted to know where Mama went (to work). When Llama Llama cried Nathan reassured him that Mama comes back (Nathan knows this from personal experience) and he was SO EXCITED when Mama Llama returned. And he wanted to read it AGAIN RIGHT NOW. So we read it again. This time we wondered together where Daddy Llama was (working too, but he’d be home making dinner when they all got back). And Nathan got JUST AS EXCITED when Mama Llama came back. We had no idea this book was going to be such an emotional experience. And then we got into bed and offered one last book and Nathan asked to read his “special book please???? with Llama Llama goes to school?”
This time when the teacher tried to engage Llama Llama at story time (Does little Llama want a look? Llama Llama hates that book.) Nathan said,
“He scared.”
“He’s scared of the teacher?”
“Ja. He scared.”
“Because the teacher is new to him?”
“Ja. He scared the new teacher. Mama go to work and leave him all alone. Nathan scared when Mama leave him and go a work at church. And Daddy work a church.”
(At this point Tim and I were trying really hard not to laugh because Nathan was being so slow and thoughtful and deliberate in his tell and also because we never ever expected that this new book would have Nathan expressing his own separation anxiety or that in just three readings he’s figure out that this book was kinda about him.)
“You get scared when we leave you in church school?”
“Ja.”
“But do we come back?”
“YAH!!!!!!” with big smiles and jumping up and down on the bed
So, WHO KNOWS how the first day of preschool will go, but the book is a keeper.
It’s Story Time!
“Mama, what time it is? Is stowy time!” Some more Nathan stories...
Monday evening at the playground, while swinging -
Mama: Nathan, you’re my favorite.
Nathan: I Nathan favorite. No, I Nathan Bongiovanni. Nathan BONgiovanni.
Mama: You’re Nathan Timothy...
Nathan: I Nathan Timothy. I don’t wanna be Timothy. I wanna be Bongiovanni.
Mama: Well, you’re Nathan Timothy Bongiovanni.
Nathan: Oh.
Daddy: Actually Nathan, you have four names. Did you know that? You’re Nathan Timothy Vogele Bongiovanni. Is that too many names?
Nathan: No.
~
I don't know what Nathan and I were doing - maybe okay for a walk? - when out of the blue he told me he wanted to go for a bikeride. I told him that sounded like a lot of fun, but that the bikes are at Grandma and Grandpa’s house.
I want a ride a bike wif Grampa. On Grampa bike. Oh! Grampa NEEDS a BELL. For his bike!
Should we get it for him as a present?
Yes! For his Birfday!
Grandpa says we don’t have to wait for his birthday, but at this rate, his birthday is coming up pretty quickly.
~
Nathan threw up one night last week (first he told me he was going to throw up and needed a bowl - he’s his mother’s son) and, instead of feel better afterwards as he usually does, was still pretty unhappy, so I suggested cheerios and water in bed before going to sleep.
“No watah - I want juice.”
So I put just enough cranberry juice in the water to give it color and told Nathan it was “pink juice.” Three quarters of the way through the water Nathan stopped drinking, looked at it and handed it back to me saying:
“Mama, dis isn’t juice. Dis yucky watah.”
This week when Nathan asked for juice he followed it up with “Not PINK juice - GREEN juice, RED juice, REAL juice.”
~
Last week we visited Drumlin Farm. Nathan told me I couldn’t sing to the sheep.
“No Mama! No singing. You SCARE them. No waking up the sheep and scare them.”
~
After opening birthday presents with Daddy on Tuesday, holding the Daddy’s new gadget in that horrible hard plastic that’s impossible to open:
Mama, let’s open this NOW. I wanna open it. We need scissors.
The scissors are broken - first we’ll have to get new ones.
Oh. We can use Nathan scissors.
Nathan, you don’t have any scissors. I can get you some. I will buy Mommy and Nathan some new scissors, but right now we don’t have any.
Yes we do! We have scissors. In the kitchen. You wait here Mama, I get them for you.
OH, no, those are kitchen shears…
Nathan knows way more than we realize…
~
Heard from the kitchen while Daddy was helping Nathan get dressed:
What shirt do you want to wear?
My new one!
I think that one’s dirty.
Okay. How bout… my dinosaur one!
That one’s definitely dirty.
Okay How bout…
I have no memory of what Nathan wore that day, but he did get dressed.
This week the participating in choosing his clothes has changed to instance on choosing his own outfits. We’re trying to go with the flow (long sleeved, footie dinosaur pajamas over a questionably clean dinosaur T-shirt for a full day of playing outside? sure…) hoping that at least when the outfit is inappropriate for the weather Nathan will pretty soon ask to wear something else. Tim did say Friday morning, when it looked like tears might be shed over a not clean Star Wars shirt: I didn’t really think I was going to have to deal with this, since I don’t have a daughter.
~
Saturday as Mamma tried to get the house clean for Daddy’s birthday dinner and Nathan tried to live life as though Mama wasn’t cleaning the house:
Nathan, can I vacuum while you have lunch?
No. It get too loud and then I can’t eat.
Okay...