Lenten Discipline
Happy Lent? What are you doing for Lent this year? What am I doing for Lent this year? I have no idea. I keep thinking back to Lent last year. As you may remember, last year I thought I’d be spending the season in the last trimester of pregnancy, adding new meaning (and discomfort?) to this season of disciplined waiting for resurrection and new life. Instead by the time Lent rolled around we had already been through the valley of the shadow of death and had seen resurrection on the other side and were well into the rhythm of daily hospital visits, hanging out with a growing and changing baby, the anticipation of bringing Nathan home. In my mind "Lent last year" is the same as “this time last year.” I’m not sure why, but today I realized that actually, it’s not. “This time last year” we were in the valley - just realizing how sick our baby was, just beginning the most horrible week of our lives, wondering what it would be like to lose our baby after only having him for a few weeks, praying we wouldn’t find out. Watching Nathan this evening, racing around the house like a puppy chasing its tail, it’s hard to believe where we were “this time last year” and at the same time, the littlest thing will bring it all back. Nathan is a normal, healthy, on track little boy, but it’s all still tied up in the fact that he survived. So I guess my hope for this Lent is to take even more intentional time with Nathan, to find our way back to the strong team we had to be as a couple and as parents to get through “this time last year” and for it not to be a dreary season, but a season where we can enjoy the incredible gift that we know comes at the end. But I mean, I could try to get to bed on time and exercise too.