VB Family Updates

posted by Katie

On Parenthood

Can we really write about parenthood yet? We’ve only been at it for a few weeks, and really it’s mostly felt like we’re visiting a place called parenthood. We have a son but he has some very over educated (and expensive) babysitters. We got the stress and fears of being parents before we got to figure out how to be parents – more than any parent ever wants to have. But finally, this week, we’re starting to figure it out. This week I really got to be a mama.

Monday was way too long ago to remember – I think mostly we got settled into the routine of being back at Beth Israel. But Tuesday was amazing. On Tuesday Nathan hung out nursing for almost an hour. Okay, so nursing for Nathan is more a process of suck swallow suck swallow suck swallow suck swallow breathe breathe breathe breathe breathe breathe breathe breathe breathe, not a constant thing, and yes, over that hour there was a far amount of nonnutritive sucking (like being a human pacifier) but it was amazing. And Nathan got an A+ from the lactation consultant who came by and Mama didn’t feel like she needed four arms. Yay Nathan. Yay Mama. Nathan did so well that we started discussing bottle feeding.

Yes, bottle feeding. Some parents worry that if their baby starts on a bottle too soon they’ll never want to breastfeed and other parents worry that if their baby starts on a bottle too late they’ll never use one, but when it comes to preemies both breast and bottle feeding are so much work (remember, he hasn’t figured out the whole swallow and breathe at the same time thing yet) that when one is going well it makes sense to introduce the other. Also, preemies need more calories than they can get from breast milk, so Nathan gets breast milk with extra calories mixed in and that can’t come from me.

So on Wednesday Nathan got his first bottle. He was very cute about it. When I picked him up, Nathan opened his mouth and leaned towards me, ready to latch on. I felt kinda bad sitting him up and telling him we were gonna try something new and difficult. In response to this new and difficult activity Nathan kept his eyes squinched shut the whole time. But he did great. Just like his first time breastfeeding, he had no problem latching on and sucking and he got totally exhausted after five minutes. It was a great start. The plan now we’ll alternate breast and bottle feeding once a day until Nathan has enough stamina to feed by mouth twice a day, and we’ll go from there. After his bottle, Nathan hung out with his daddy while getting the rest of lunch by feeding tube. Some time after lunch, while still in Tim’s arms, Nathan started getting fussy. His pacifier didn’t solve it, tucking his arms into this blanket didn’t solve it, so Tim went to put Nathan back in his crib so we could saddle him (have I mentioned that we can just pick Nathan up now? on our own? no nurses needed? it’s amazing) and light dawned on marble head – he needed a new diaper. Yes, we got excited about the fact that our son needed a clean diaper and we could solve it for him. And it worked! No more fussing.

So we’re figuring this parenting thing out. Having a baby who no longer has a half dozen lines going into him is a huge help. The fact that he’s been around for six weeks helps. With new preemies, you want to stimulate them as little as possible, let them sleep and grow, so if they fuss, you make sure they feel secure and let them work it out on their own. Now we can pick him up, comfort him, talk to him, swaddle him up if he’s cold or fussy, unwrap him if he’s warm or fussy, change his diaper – all parent things that parents at home get to do. It’s nice being a mama.

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